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[The Headliner]

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Walking through the WrestleXpress offices late one evening, The Headliner almost trips over a velvet bag in the hallway. Grumbing about the general untidiness of the building, he picks up and opens the bag to find a large leather belt, with shimmering gold plates labelling it as the WrestleXpress Hardcore Championship. Puzzled but excited, The Headliner discreetly tucks the belt under his jacket and keeps walking.
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[Da Man]

Da Man walks out of his office( fyi:bathroom) and bumps into Headliner and the belt falls out

Da Man: nice belt, what is it

Headliner: oh its uh, the hardcore belt

Da Man: oh so if i beat you silly i get it

Headliner: thats usually how it works

Da Man; ok then

Da Man picks up the belt and whips Headliner will it, da man throws headliner into the his "office" and starts ramming headliners hit into the TIOLET

its swirley time!

headliner passes out because Goldust made a big movie on that tiolet a few minutes ago

Da Man pins headliner

and since there really is no ref, Da Man counts for himself

1..2..3

da man is da winner
 

[Wolfpac]

nWoWolfpac sees Da Man in a McDonalds

nWoWolfpac: What do you think your doing?
Da Man: Eat..
nWoWolfpac:...shut up!

*nWoWolfpac takes Da Man's burger and sticks it in his mouth. He then takes a chair and smashes it over Da Man's head. He covers Da Man and the clerk also a WX Ref counts*

Ref: 1...2...3...and your winner: nWoWolfpac

*nWoWolfpac leaves McDonald with the Hardcore Championship*

[The Headliner]

As nWoWolfpac walks down the street with his Hardcore Title and Happy Meal, he is confronted by a gang of evil ghouls who begin to give chase...

----

After a long pursuit, he manages to lose them, but runs straight into The Headliner. Tired and exhaused, Pacman is easy prey for defeat, leaving The Headliner as the new WX Hardcore Champion.

[Kraul]

*Headliner, letting the record two-week WX Hardcore Championship reign get to his head, is seen on a Caribbean cruise somewhere off the coast of Jamaica wearing a very expensive outfit*

Headliner: Ladies, ladies! No need to rush! There's plenty of the Headliner to go around.

*As he puts his drink down a loud explosion happens twenty feet behind him. Everyone screams and leaves the scene except for Headliner, who's staring directly into the dust cloud where a cabin wall once was*

???: Headliner, the time for your reign to end has come.

Headliner, visually shaken: Who's there? What do you want with me?

*The mystery figure walks out from the dust dressed like Brandon Lee in The Crow, just without the make-up and Heady's mouth drops*

Kraul: It's time for you to defend that title of yours. Fight if you want, but defend, you must.

Headliner: Ummm....okay, Yoda. Let's brawl!

*Headliner starts to run at Kraul, but before he reaches him, Kraul jumps at him. Giving him the most painful 'Gore' ever performed.*

Kraul: What a pathetic champion. Your lack of opponents have made you weak.

*Kraul then calls for a ref that he brought along to come out of the hole in the cabin. 1...2...3! Kraul is the new champion!*

Kraul: Hehe, feel free to challenge me again when you feel up to the level again.

*Kraul then disappears in his signature black cloud of smoke with the laughter fading into the background. The ref just simply grabs Heady's drink and walks away to the other side of the ship*

[A-Dubb]

*A-Dubb happenes to see this as he's finishing up his navigation software repair*

A-Dubb: Hey weird-ass, can I see that belt?

Kraul: you're gonna have to fight me for it.

A-Dubb: Damn! Can't I just barter for it?

Kraul: depends on what you have.

A-Dubb: *Now face to face with Kraul* Well, I do have this one thing... But you don't want it.

Kraul: Oh really, what is it?

A-Dubb: I don't know if you want it...

Kraul: It's not a thong is it? Come on, tell me.

A-Dubb: No it's not a thong...

Kraul: Well what is it?

A-Dubb: It's a big ole can of whoop ass!!!!

*A-Dubb grabs a chair and begins beating Kraul bloody, then covers his motionless body*

Ref: 1.... 2.... 3! Your new champion, A-Dubb!

*A-Dubb then picks both Headliner's and Kraul's bodies up and throws them into the water*

A-Dubb: Aidios dumbasses.

*Hot women then surround A-Dubb and begin fighting over which one of them is going to give A-Dubb oral pleasure*

A-Dubb: Ladies ladies, there's enough of A-Dubb's... umm... thing to go around.

Ladies: YAY!!!

[Kraul]

*More and more ladies start to gather around A-Dubb which causes him to fall back onto the ground and the ladies jump onto him, trying to get a piece of him*

A-Dubb: Whoa! Hey, let me up dammit!

*A-Dubb then fights his way to his feet where he sees right over the girls heads and sees that Kraul is standing back on the deck looking straigh at him. Kraul then starts to walk towards him. A-Dubb, being the brave guy he is, pushes some girls in Kraul's way and he then runs in the opposite direction with Kraul right behind him, calmy walking.*

A-Dubb: Oh, shit. Dude, I'm sorry about that throwing you overboard thing. I really am.

*A-Dubb winds up running to the very end of the boat, where he has no-where to run. Kraul calmly walks up to him and comes face-to-face with him.*

Kraul: Time to pay....coward.

*Kraul then grabs A-Dubb and picks him up into a overhead body press. He launches him twelve feet inward, away from the side of the boat. He then climbs up to the second level of above deck cabins and jumps off onto Dubb, doing a powerful body splash he calls the 'death from above'. This cracks some boards on the deck and may have splintered Dubb's ribs. Kraul then picks up the hurt Dubb and puts him in the position for the 'Tombstone Piledriver' and he then jumps up four feet and drops onto the already weakened boards of the deck, breaking through and dropping down one level. A ref drops down the hole and counts 1...2...3 and gives Kraul the belt. Kraul then leaves the hole and he ends the day. Kraul then does his signature teleport to his other lair in Antartica where he places the title in front of where he's sitting and he begins to meditate, waiting for the next challenger.*

[A-Dubb]

*A-Dubb regains conscienceness hours later, and Kraul being the gloating guy he is, told the girls where he was going. So A-Dubb makes it to shore and hops the first plane to Antartica*

A-Dubb: Where is that bastard? I know...

*A-Dubb then pulls out his GPS heatseeker which quickly finds Kraul*

A-Dubb: Got you retard.

*A-Dubb makes his way to the igloo like lair with stealth, cunning and, above all else, caution. A-Dubb then sees kraul inside sitting indian style and has his eyes closed. A-Dubb thinks of how to go about this as he eyes the title. A-Dubb then has an idea, make innocent noises like a child to throw Kraul of his game. Kraul then comes out after hearing the noises. A-Dubb then grabs a large frozen log from the firewood pile and begins beating Kraul untill Kraul is barely breathing.*

A-Dubb: (pinning Kraul) Damnit!!! I forgot the ref!!!

*Just then Kraul's personal ref comes running out and slow counts to 3.*

A-Dubb: now that I'm the champ again, what do I do with you?

*A-Dubb then digs a massively deep hole and tosses Kraul in to it and covers it back up. Just then 100's if not 1000's of bikini clad women bum rush A-Dubb from no where tearing his clothes away in a perverse sexual rage*

A-Dubb: I gotta go... Hey! don't grab that unless you're gonna finish the job!

*A-Dubb fights his way up and runs like hell to the plane*

Pilot: Where we going?

A-Dubb: anywhere but here.

pilot: Okay.

*A-Dubb then flies far far away with the shiney gold belt wraped firmly around his waist.*

[Kraul]

*A-Dubb is thinking that he has just got away when suddenly the plane turns around and is heading back.*

A-Dubb: Pilot! What are you doing!

Pilot (in his true Austrian accent): I am taking you back, sir. My boss must have a few words for you. Now please, sit still until we arrive.

*The pilot then presses a button that puts a screen in between him and A-Dubb in the back. The air around Dubb then fills up with a type of gas, knocking Dubb out. A-Dubb then wakes up in a cave, with Kraul standing above him.*

Kraul: Did you really think I'd be so easily beaten? Didn't you think all these people in the cold desert of Antartica was strange? It should have been proof enough that something was wrong when you saw 1000's of bikini clad women in subzero temperatures.

A-Dubb: What do you mean?

Kraul: The girls you saw were genetically enhanced to withstand subzero tempertatures and with perfect senses and great physical strength.

A-Dubb: So you mean they are "test-tube" ladies?

Kraul: Not only that, but they are a part of the Nightcrawler Army. Just like that pilot. Now, you have something I want.

A-Dubb: Ummm....sorry. I dont swing that way.

Kraul: Not that, you idiot. I want my belt back.

*Kraul then whistles for the ref and he runs towards A-Dubb. This tim A-Dubb ducks underneath a clothesline and kicks Kraul in the stomach. He sets him up for The Pedigree which he calls 'the Gates to hell', but Kraul reverses it and instead backtosses A-Dubb onto the cold, hard ground. He then starts punching Dubb over and over until Dubb is near death and then Kraul picks Dubb up and puts him into the Jackhammer and he drops, hurting Dubb's already sore ribs. 1...2...3...Kraul won!*

Kraul, walking out of the cave and facing a dozen women: Dispose of him.

*Two women carry Dubb off and they drop him into the cold Antartic waters with a large rock attatched to his tied feet. Meanwhile, Kraul goes back to meditating. Waiting for the next so-called challenge.*

[The Headliner]

*As Kraul sits, legs crossed and levitating, his attention is grabbed by a disturbance in the water's surface. Just then, as his eyes widen, he is met with the sight of a two-tonne octopus rising from the deep! The floating Hardcore Champion falls on his ass, and starts scrabbling backwards in a desperate retreat from the gesticulating sea creature. However, from underneath the octopus, a pair of weed-entangled arms appear and push the long-dead invertibrate off of their concealed body.*

Kraul: "It's... y.... you!!!"

The Headliner: "No shit, Sherlock."

Kraul: "I... I thought you'd drowned!"

The Headliner: "Yes, it's funny how I managed to swim all the way from the Caribbean to the Antarctic with not so much as a snorkel, but I'm a resourceful kinda guy. See, the way I did it was as follows. When you and I were pushed off the cruise ship, I held back long enough to slip people's memories, only surfacing after the vessel had moved on. Then, in a stroke of pure genius, I..."

*A Kraul-manufactured bikini babe shoots a harpoon through The Headliner's chest, cutting him off mid-ramble.*

Kraul (loosening the lassoo): "You'll never regain this title, Headliner - see you in the frosty caverns of Hell!"

*Blood pouring from his torso, The Headliner sinks into the icy Antarctic waters, leaving Kraul to hug and kiss his Hardcore Championship belt.*

[A-Dubb]

*Kraul had A-Dubb thrown into the ice atantic with a boulder tied to his feet. Little did Kraul know A-Dubb had a knife and cut himself free because once he touched that water he woke up. A-Dubb then goes looking for Kraul*

A-Dubb: Damnit!!! Where is he?! I think I know, Tibet! He likes to meditate so a spirtual place may be where he is. Ok, to Tibet i go.

*A-Dubb flies to Tibet and looks for Kraul. He finds Kraul a top a mountain in a barely used temple*

A-Dubb: (whispering) It's go time bitch.

*A-Dubb grabs Kraul from behind and throws him down backwards smashing the back of Kraul's head on the ground. Kraul is out cold.*

A-Dubb: Good god that was easy.

*Kraul's personal and sanctioned referee counts very slowly to 3 and hands the belt to A-Dubb*

A-Dubb: I am the man!!!! You can't touch me because I'm above you!!! You are a low lif....

*Kraul twitches on the ground*

A-Dubb: shit, gotta go.

*A-Dubb then runs as fast as possible down the mountain singing "We are the champions" by Queen then hops into his private jet and flies far far away... While still singing "We are the champions" by Queen*

[Kraul]

*Kraul soon awakens with a killer headache. He returns to his lair and turns on TechTV to watch Extended Play. As Extended Play goes off the air Kraul reaches for his remote as The ScreenSavers starts.*

Kraul: I'll watch this later. I need some rest.

Leo: What is Windows "Longhorn"? We'll find out today on The ScreenSavers, also the WrestleXpress Hardcore Champion, A-Dubb, is an honorary ScreenSaver for the day and he'll answer your calls. All that and much more today on The ScreenSavers!

*Kraul jumps to his feet and grins an evil "Grinch-like" grin and a plan is made*

Patrick: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, the WrestleXpress Hardcore Champion, A-Dubb!

A-Dubb: Hey, guys. It's great to be on the show. I'm a big fan. Anyway, on with the callers!

Caller: like i have a site and I want to put music on it, i want people to be able to dowload it, how do i do that. whats the html code for it?

A-Dubb: ok, let's begin. First make a sub directory called whatever you want (probly downloads or Mp3) them let's say you uploaded a song to that directory AB.mp3. And let's say your sites name is POP. This is how it's done, [*a href="/POP/downlods/AB.mp3]Here is a song[*/a] Got it?

Leo: Okay, next caller!

Caller: Umm...what type of laptop do you think would do the most brain damage when enough force is applied to a swing to the cranium.

Patrick: Well, that's an odd question.

A-Dubb: Why do you want to know that?

Caller: Because I'm taking my title back you son-of-a-bitch!

*Kraul then runs out from off camera and shatters a black laptop over A-Dubb's head. 1...2...3! Kraul retains his title!*

Leo: Hey, wait-a-minute! What are you doing?!? Get out of here!

*Patrick grabs his signature sledgehammer preparing to defend himself from Kraul, but Kraul grabs it out of his hand and breaks the wooden handle over Leo's back.*

Kraul: That should shut your "family oriented" ass up, you piece of trash.

*Kraul then grabs Leo's book off of the desk and throws it at Patrick. Vandaminator! With all three men knocked out, Kraul flees the scene in his trademark "cloud of black smoke" while his ref just simply walks out the door.*

[A-Dubb]

*Quickly gets up after figuring out what happened and rushes out the door to the ref walking towards the Tech Live studio*

A-Dubb: I found Kraul's weakness. Let's exploit it shall we?

*Just then the ScreenSavers send a camera after me*

Camera Guy: Is it ok if I we film you whipping that bastards ass?

A-Dubb: sure.

*A-Dubb quickly runs into the Tech Live studio to see Kraul hitting on Mich... Micha.... The head news anchor*

A-Dubb: You sumbitch!!!!

*A-Dubb begins beating Kraul with various objects then gets Kraul on top of the news desk and power bombs him through it then pins him*

Ref: 1... 2............................................3 *sigh*

*A-Dubb then gets up and begins touting off, then sees Kraul's body twitch*

A-Dubb: Time to go. It's been a pleasure being on the screen savers but I must go now, good bye.

*A-Dubb gets to the airport in record time and hops on his private jet and goes home with the title firmly around his waist*

[Kraul]

*A-Dubb arrives home and is greeted by his girlf....er...fiance ( ) wearing a hooded jacket with the hood up as she runs up and hugs him.*

A-Dubb: It's good to be back, and look what I brought with me.

Dubbette: It's beautiful! Can I hold it?

A-Dubb: Sure, babe. Here you go.

*Dubbette grabs the title and looks at the title face.*

Dubbette: It's a beautiful strap, I'llk say that much.

A-Dubb: Not as beautiful as you (insert eye rolling smilie here).

Dubbette: Awww...that's sweet. But I know something sweeter.

A-Dubb: What's that?

Dubbette: The sweet taste of revenge!

*Dubbette then throws off her hood revealing a different woman who looks similiar to the real Dubbette.*

A-Dubb: Wait a minute! Who are you?!?

Fake Dubbette: I'm a loyal member of the Nightcrawler Army. I wish I could say I'm going to take you out, but I can't. For he'll most likely do that for you.

*She points her finger behind him as Kraul with Michaela Pire...Peri...however you spell her last name is in his arm ( ).*

A-Dubb: How did you know where I live?!?

Kraul: You'd be suprised how much J-Dubb will tell if you promise him a woman and a button for a keyboard that turns "cap-lock" off.

A-Dubb: That bastard!

Kraul: Take your anger out on him later, but for now, it's time to battle.

*They run at eachother with extended arms. *THUD* They double clotheslined eachother. Michaela then puts Kraul's arm over A-Dubb and the ref walks in and counts: 1...2...3! Kraul has retained his title. He then heads off to Tokyo, Japan for a little relaxation*

[The Headliner]

Sitting in a noodle bar in downtown Tokyo, Kraul is regaining his lost energy after a hectic 24 hours.

Kraul: *slurp-slurp-slurp*

Proprietor: "Ah, suh, if yousa not eating quietly, Isa haf to ask you to leave."

Kraul: (wiping mouth with back of wrist) "Hey pal, don't you know who I am? I'm the WrestleXpress Hardcore Champi..."

Kraul is interrupted by the sensation of two sharp wooden chopsticks being stabbed into his ears, piercing his twisted little brain.

The Headliner: "Aha! How does it feel to be harpooned, little man?"

Kraul: "B... But I thought you were... arglearghhh!!"

The Headliner twists the chopsticks, turning Kraul's brain inside his head like a hog on a spit.

The Headliner: "Yes, I bet you're wondering how I ever managed to recover from such a vicious attack. Well, using the harpoon and the rope tied to it, I managed to construct a marvellous device which allowed me to escape by way of..."

Proprietor: "Veh sowwy sah, but the closing time is vewwy soonah."

The Headliner: "Okay, okay, I'll just get on with it this time. So anyway, the bottom line is, Kraul, you're dead meat!"

The Headliner plucks out Kraul's brain on one of the chopsticks, and it now resembles a fat, juicy kebab.

The Headliner: "Here you go, bud - spice up your menu with this."

He passes the brain kebab to the noodle bar manager, who holds onto it with a morbid curiosity, and The Headliner pins Kraul's functionless body for the count of 'three'.