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Author Topic: The Joke Thread  (Read 7629 times)

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EgoTistiCal Bitch

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The Joke Thread
« Reply #15 on: March 03, 2005, 02:46:51 PM »
What's the difference between a rectal and oral thermometer?
The Taste.                    
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The Headliner

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The Joke Thread
« Reply #16 on: March 03, 2005, 02:53:44 PM »
If you don't know that, you're in trouble. :yuck:                    
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EgoTistiCal Bitch

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The Joke Thread
« Reply #17 on: March 03, 2005, 02:59:08 PM »
Are you speaking from experience?                    
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Sarah

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The Joke Thread
« Reply #18 on: March 03, 2005, 03:03:11 PM »
Why did the boy eat his homework?
He thought it was a piece of cake!

Read that one off a penguin wrapper.                    
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The Headliner

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The Joke Thread
« Reply #19 on: March 03, 2005, 03:14:23 PM »
Ah, Penguins - always the most reliable source of comedy. Just like the real thing. :cool:                    
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EgoTistiCal Bitch

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« Reply #20 on: March 03, 2005, 04:04:00 PM »
One day a blonde went to an appliance store and she found a bargain.Excuse me sir she said,I would like to buy this tv.Sorry mam the salesman replied but we don't sale to blondes.The woman hurried home and dyed her hair.Then she returned to the store.Excuse me sir she I would like to buy this tv.Sorry mam we don't sale to blondes.Oh my the woman thought he must have recognized me.The woman went to the store to buy a disguise.The woman bought a wig,big baggy pants and a pair of sunglasses.She waited a day before returning to the appliance store.When she returned and she approached the man once more and said sir I would like to buy this tv.Again the man replied I'm sorry mam but we don't sell to blondes.The woman was furious.She asked the salesman how he knew she was blonde and he replied because that's not a tv it's a microwave.                    
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Seasons in the Abyss

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The Joke Thread
« Reply #21 on: March 03, 2005, 04:29:22 PM »
Do homeless people really get 'knock, knock' jokes?  :-/

Should schizophrenics take multi-vitamins?

...Do vegetarians like to meet people?

When two noufies divorce....do they still remain cousins?                    
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EgoTistiCal Bitch

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« Reply #22 on: March 03, 2005, 11:33:19 PM »
One day a miserable old tooth brush sat down and said sometimes I feel like I have the worst job in the world.All of a sudden the toilet paper yells,think again buddy!                    
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Sarah

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The Joke Thread
« Reply #23 on: March 04, 2005, 03:05:55 PM »
I think theres a cartoon picture about that joke somewhere, I'll see if I can find it.                    
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Lawman

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The Joke Thread
« Reply #24 on: March 04, 2005, 06:02:09 PM »
a man is walking along a beach and he notices a paraplegic woman sitting on a towel sobbing, "whats Wrong?" he asked her,
she looked up and blubbed "ive never been hugged!"
feeling for the poor woman he gives her a hug, but when she continues to cry he asks "whats wrong now?".
"Ive Never been kissed" so he kisses her!
Now the woman is in a torrent of tears and the man asks "whats wrong now?"
she wails "ive never been screwed!"
and the man says "well you're screwed now the tide is coming in!



... i feel ashamed now                    
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The Headliner

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The Joke Thread
« Reply #25 on: March 04, 2005, 06:14:15 PM »
Here is your one-way ticket to Hell, Lawman. Non-refundable. :P                    
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Lawman

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The Joke Thread
« Reply #26 on: March 06, 2005, 06:44:37 PM »
hey if im going to hell here's another nail in my coffin

Snow white and the seven dwarfs are visiting the vatican
dopey pulls the pope to the side and asks  "are there any dwarf nuns in the vatican?"
"no" the pope replies and snow white and the other dwarfs have a little laugh
later that day dopey pulls the pope to the side again and asks  "are there any dwarf nuns in europe?"
"i'm sorry dopey there arn't!" his holiness replies
the other dwarfs and snow white are pissing themselves laughing!
just before they all leave dopey pulls the pope aside one more time and pleads "are there any dwarf nuns in the world???!"
"i'm afraid there arn't dopey"
at this point snow white and the other dwarfs break down in hysterics
and the pope ask "what are you laughing at???"

and they all turn and sing
"Dopey shagged a penguin! Dopey shagged a penguin!"



i'm sooooo going to hell! :victory:
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EgoTistiCal Bitch

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The Joke Thread
« Reply #27 on: March 06, 2005, 10:17:29 PM »
What starts with P and ends with E and has thousands of letters in it?
It's a Post Office. :D  
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The Joke Thread
« Reply #28 on: March 07, 2005, 05:44:37 PM »
I get it,

What did Silver say to Gold?

-Au (hey you)

*Chemistry Joke- Golds Symbol is Au so this fits
 
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EgoTistiCal Bitch

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The Joke Thread
« Reply #29 on: April 05, 2005, 11:55:14 PM »
Hitman not only are you a great poet but you are a awesome chemist as well.





Once apon a time there was a little boy carrying a wheel of cheese all of a sudden the boy dropped the cheese and it began to roll.When the cheese reached the bottom of the hill the boy shouted... Nacho Cheese,Nacho Cheese. :rofl:  
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