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Author Topic: The Joke Thread  (Read 7628 times)

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The Poison

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The Joke Thread
« on: December 12, 2004, 08:25:36 PM »
List all your jokes in this thread, I'll go first

A kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came to present what they'd found, the first little boy walked up to the front of the class made a small white dot on the blackboard and sat back down. Puzzled, the teacher asked him just what it was.

"It's a period,'' said the little boy.

"Well, I can see that,'' she said, ''but what is so exciting about a period?''

''Damned if I know,'' said the little boy, ''but this morning my sister was missing one, Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted, and the man next door shot himself."                    
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Sarah

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The Joke Thread
« Reply #1 on: December 18, 2004, 04:11:26 PM »
Whats brown and sticky?. . . A stick!
Ok, its not as funny as The Hitman's, but it made me laugh when I first heard it.                    
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The Headliner

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The Joke Thread
« Reply #2 on: December 18, 2004, 05:25:34 PM »
What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff! :rofl:

Well, I didn't want to be the first to go down that route. :blush:                    
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The Poison

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The Joke Thread
« Reply #3 on: December 19, 2004, 11:11:10 AM »
You should all be ashamed

(:snicker: a stick)                    
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Sarah

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The Joke Thread
« Reply #4 on: December 19, 2004, 03:00:43 PM »
Wahay, somebody laughed at my joke! :#1:                    
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Randy Orton's #1 Fan

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The Joke Thread
« Reply #5 on: December 23, 2004, 10:47:16 AM »
At a catholic school,a lunch line formed,with two bowls at each end of the line.There were apples and cookies.There was a sign that said:"Take one apple,God is waitching".At the other end,a little girl made a sign:"Take as many cookies as you want...God is watching the apples!".                    
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Thanx for the sig Slash!!

In order,here are my fave WM21 Commercials
1.A Few Fine Men feat. John Cena & JBL
2.Braveheart feat. HHH & Ric Flair
3.Forrest Gump feat. Eugene
4.Pulp Fiction feat. Booker T and Eddie Gurrero
5.Basic Instinct feat. Stacy Kiebler,Y2J Chris Jericho,Chris Benoit,Cristian,Mae Young & The Fabulous Moolah

Seasons in the Abyss

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The Joke Thread
« Reply #6 on: December 23, 2004, 01:46:34 PM »
What's the difference between a jew and a canoe?



:#1: A canoe tips!.............ha - za~!                    
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-*Rest in Peace, Brother Dime*-

Sarah

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The Joke Thread
« Reply #7 on: December 23, 2004, 03:02:15 PM »
Why do farts smell?
For the benefit of the deaf! :#1:                    
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Danny789

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The Joke Thread
« Reply #8 on: December 24, 2004, 03:50:43 PM »
A MAN PUTS A TRAY OF MUFFINS IN THE OVEN
ONE OF THE MUFFINS SCREAM AHHH!!! ITS HOT IN HERE AND ANOTHER MUFFIN SCREAM AHHHH!!!! A TALKING MUFFIN                    
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Kane

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The Joke Thread
« Reply #9 on: December 26, 2004, 07:08:48 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Danny789
A MAN PUTS A TRAY OF MUFFINS IN THE OVEN
ONE OF THE MUFFINS SCREAM AHHH!!! ITS HOT IN HERE AND ANOTHER MUFFIN SCREAM AHHHH!!!! A TALKING MUFFIN


Heard it before but,  its kinda funny:#1:  I heard it with profanity though. Profanity makes jokes funnier. YA PROFANITY!!!:elephant:                    
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May the hounds of hell eat your rotting soul, and you will REST........ IN......... PEACE!!!

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The Countess

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The Joke Thread
« Reply #10 on: December 28, 2004, 07:50:48 PM »
I got two that are my favorite political jokes. Hope you like....


   
 
1. President Bush wakes up one morning, looks out of the White House window and sees "The President Sucks" written in the snow in urine. Furious, he calls in the FBI and demands the perpetrators be found. Later that day the FBI agents return.
"Well sir," says the first agent, "the urine has been analyzed and it's the Vice President's". Bush gets real mad and shouts, "Is that all?"

"Well no sir," says the agent, "It's the First Lady's handwriting".




 

2. At a news conference, a journalist said to the politician running for the presidency, "Your secretary said publicly that you have a small penis. Would you please comment on this."

"The truth is," replied the politician, "that she has a big mouth."
 
                   
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The Poison

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The Joke Thread
« Reply #11 on: December 28, 2004, 08:32:28 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Miss Orton

"The truth is," replied the politician, "that she has a big mouth."


*rim shot*                    
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Hazzy

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The Joke Thread
« Reply #12 on: December 29, 2004, 03:32:25 PM »
Oh oh!!!

What....is Orange (That's ORANGE) and sounds like a Parrot?

....I forget....

Wait I remember!!...Nope...Gone again....Oh Yeah!!....Nope...Ye...no...Yes I....damn....Wait!...Yes..YEs...YES...Nope....YES!!!!

A Carrot!!

(Sorry it took so long, but i've always wanted to write that down....seriously....i know it's wierd....but you won't tell anyone, right?)                    
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Quote
[15:12:47] Gerrvaise says:
i used to strip action men and play with them in the bath

EgoTistiCal Bitch

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The Joke Thread
« Reply #13 on: March 03, 2005, 08:58:19 AM »
One day a man asked his wife what she wanted for her birthday.The wife replied that she would love to be six again.On the day of the wife's birthday he woke up early made her a nice bowl of cereal.Then they sat off for Disneyland.What a day they had.They went on every ride in the park.5 hours later she staggered out of the theme park.Her head was spinning and her stomach was turning.When her loving husband drove up to McDonald's he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a McFlurry.What an awesome adventure.Finally she wobbled into the house and got into bed.Her husband leaned over his precious wife with a big smile and lovingly asked'"Well Dear what was it like to be 6 again?"The wife's eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed and she said,"Is that what this crazy day was all about?You idiot,I meant my dress size not my age!"

The moral of this story is even when a man is listening,he's still gonna get it wrong.                    
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The Headliner

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The Joke Thread
« Reply #14 on: March 03, 2005, 09:34:36 AM »
Oh, I get it! :lol: It's funny because she had a McFlurry! :rofl:

Wait... What? :shifty:                    
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