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Author Topic: How much can you tolerate?  (Read 279 times) Share

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The Gopher

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How much can you tolerate?
« on: February 01, 2010, 04:47:02 PM »

So, this is mainly meant to be a topic about the workplace, but it can be applied to friendships, relationships, family, and school.

A little back story. I walked out during the middle of a shift at work on Saturday after a heated argument with a manager. The store manager and the assistant manager lied to my face while accusing me of lying about my availability and how much time I spend on my school work and attending class. I was so angry and humiliated by the way that they talked to me, I literally had two choices - punch one of them in the face, or walk out on my job. I chose the one that wouldn't end in arrest.

So, that got me thinking, that perhaps I have a problem with authority figures. I've been raised with the mindset that you shouldn't let people talk down to you or treat you with disrespect, which is fine and dandy in an ideal world. Of course, however, that's not normally how it works. At a job or in a classroom, the person that assumes a position of authority often times tend to abuse it, being rude or disrespectful without fear of repercussion.

What are some of your own experiences with this sort of stuff? Do you just take it and get back to work, quietly stewing, or do you take initiative and stand up for yourself? Of course, there are no right or wrong answers here, I'm just wondering if I'm alone on this one.
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Queen Scoop

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Re: How much can you tolerate?
« Reply #1 on: February 01, 2010, 04:55:38 PM »

Why is what you do when you're not working any of their business in the first place? You don't hav to work 24/7 or be available and at their disposal at all times..I'm glad you walked out.. as for my job, I have no problems with the bosses or co-workers but customers can be really rude.. and I only put up with so much.. ;)
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The Headliner

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Re: How much can you tolerate?
« Reply #2 on: February 01, 2010, 05:28:19 PM »

I've been lucky enough so far to only work for bosses who are really good with their "underlings." And for 99% of my academic life, I never had a problem with any teachers. It was only towards the end of high school that I took particular issue with one Head of Year, but my time there came to an end before it could or would escalate. So, fortunately, I've never really been tested in the situations you're referring to.

Hypothetically speaking, I don't think I would tolerate much in the way of abuse from an employer, having had such good experiences of how it should be done. If I entered my working life under managers who were real dickheads, perhaps I would just assume that all places were the same and I'd stick it out for longer. As things are, I think I'd be more inclined to leave that environment as soon as possible because I know it's not acceptable.
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Fan

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Re: How much can you tolerate?
« Reply #3 on: February 01, 2010, 07:10:22 PM »

Hazzy can't tolerate much.  :nod:
« Last Edit: February 01, 2010, 07:13:59 PM by Fan »
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Fan

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Re: How much can you tolerate?
« Reply #4 on: February 01, 2010, 07:13:31 PM »

Seriously though, in a real life environment I can take as much as I have to in order to get ahead. At school I took anything and everything people had to dish out. On the internet or with friends I won't tolerate very much at all, if someone is a prick I will get them back for it. At work, I reckon I'd have just about no backbone and let my managers walk all over me until I thought I was due for a promotion, then I would get a little more confidence and go after it, after that, back to the old kiss-ass routine. I'm pretty two-faced, but everything I do has a purpose.  :-/
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Lawman

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Re: How much can you tolerate?
« Reply #5 on: February 03, 2010, 07:02:33 PM »

this is a long but realevant story
A few years back i was working in a shop called british home stores

Working one weekend i came home on sunday evening to find my Nana had died
My mum and older sister were in the states and could't get a flight back in time and my little sister just couldn't handle the funeral so it was me and my dad, we had to go!

on the wednesday i found out the funeral was on the saturday morning
so i phoned my uni and my work (my uni tutor gave me a week off)
i spoke to one of my collegues and explained the situation
she said it shouldn't be a problem but would just have to run it past the manager

this shortarse wee prick david jackson came on the phone and said "you cant have it off, its fathers day on sunday and we have a large delivery coming in, but if you can get it covered then whatever!...okay right bye"
and hung up!

I was aghast! i phoned all my mates and all of them were already working saturday so i was getting angrier and angrier (at the manager David) so (not even having sufficient cash for my busfares until i got paid on the thursday) walked the five miles in the pissing rain to hand in my notice and physically beat the shit out of the boss.

when i got to the shop i met one of the girls i worked with and she had heard about my nana's offerred to do my shift, crisis averted she gave me a lift home and a shoulder to vent on

BUT!

a few weeke later i had a show ( i do stagecrew for a few theatre's) and needed saturday off
so i was in the stockroom and this manager daivd came in, i said "whilst you're here i need next saturday off!"

He said "What your nana die again?" and laughed, obviously thinking he was funny

now despite my online brittleness, i'm reasonably chilled in the real world, but i went apeshit!
I grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and pinned him to the wall, now he was 5"6, I'm 6"2 and well built
I cant remember the exact words but something along the lines of "i'll beat you to fucking death if you mention my nana ever fucking again you fucking little bastard!"
at that point one of my collegue kenny (who saw the whole thing) intervened, he grabbed me and pulled me back and told the manager to leave

i was pulled into the main store managers office about an hour later (once kenny had calmed me down) and  i offerred my resignation if the store manager required it
But after this incident kenny had spoken to other staff and the story of me being denied a day off for my nana's funeral had been told to the store manager, and kenny told him what the manager david had said

I got an official apology and the weekend i needed off, off at double pay by means of an apology
i never got into shit for grabbing the manager
he was a prick and everyone thought so
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Advocate

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Re: How much can you tolerate?
« Reply #6 on: February 03, 2010, 07:55:24 PM »

I used to fly off the handle quite easily.  Now, I am far more relaxed.  One important thing I have learned is to choose your battles.  Fight the fights worth fighting.  For instance, Lawman's story.  Denying time off for a funeral of a loved one and then making fun of it.  That is probably a reason to get pissed off.  But I see people get pissed off over minor things.  So I am pretty reserved on most things and think about it before making a deal out of it.

I find it gets me into better situations, and I tend to have more power to get what I want to get
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Lawman

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Re: How much can you tolerate?
« Reply #7 on: February 04, 2010, 06:47:08 AM »

Little things dont seem to get to me as much now, because of the nature of my work and the patients in my ward

(i work in an intensive Psychiatric inpatient unit) where all my patients are detained and 99% of them are not happy about it

I get all manner of verbal abuse and occassional verbal, i'd say my tolerance level is higer than its ever been!
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The Headliner

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Re: How much can you tolerate?
« Reply #8 on: February 04, 2010, 07:22:23 AM »

Does this BHS manager rearrange his store layout every three months? Because if he does, give him another roughing up from me. I'm sick of finding myself in that Father Ted scene every time I go looking for trousers.
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