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[The Headliner]

So you're dead, then. Bummer.

But it needn't be so bad. Thanks to special cutting edge Web 3.0 server technology, PWH is able to retain the spirits of members who have passed away. You can still post as you did while alive, continuing to haunt the forums in your ethereal state. But you are dead. Deader than a dodo in a shellsuit. And that's an inconvenience you could live without.

So, as a ghost, a spook, a phantom, clearly your natural urge is to take revenge on the smug, air breathing mortals left behind. After all, if you deserved to snuff it, then so do they. But even in limbo, democracy rulez OK. That's why every day, a nominations thread will invite you to give the names of two active posters you want to see killed off next, and how they should meet their grizzly fate. Those with the most votes in 24 hours will get the chop, perhaps quite literally, and find themselves here in Purgatory, the land of the unliving.

Once overloaded with supernatural beings, who knows? Maybe Purgarory will combust and release you all back into the realm of reality, in an explosive exorcism worthy of Hallowe'en and Guy Fawkes Night combined. Until then, get nominating, and haunt these forums like your afterlife depends on it...

[Fan]

So JetBlack and I died due to lack of oxygen or something? Worst.Death.Ever. 

[Purple Marauder]

Okay, here is the one thing that is bugging me. When everyone that is dead is on the users list on the front page, the names blend in with the white background. I know they are suppose to be ghosts or whatever, but you can barely read the names at all. No skin doesn't have a white background. That sucks.

[Illusion]

Oh I see how it is.  You like to watch us, but set yourself on invisible so we can't watch you 

[Purple Marauder]

I don't care if anyone is anonymous, it just annoys me to see the blobbed out names down there. 

[The Headliner]

It's kind of the point, I dunno what to tell you.

For a long term thing it would be a huge design faux-pas, and of course I'll change it if it turns out to be a major bugbear, but I hope it's tolerable for just the Halloween period.

[The Gopher]

We're in Purgatory, things are supposed to be uncomfortable.

[The Headliner]

For posterity, here's everyone's ghostly details:

The Ghost of Hazzy:



Thinking it sounded like one of his infamous sleepovers, Hazzy accepted an invitation to a re-enactment of the Boston Tea Party, and keenly showed up early.

When all he found at the venue was a stack of wooden crates, he hid inside to surprise the others when they arrived. Unfortunately, his crate was soon thrown into Boston Harbor, and H-Man slowly drowned.The Ghost of Illusion:



Determined to disprove the popular Welsh stereotype, Illusion ruthlessly slaughtered a field full of sheep in a late night frenzy of bullets and bleating.

He was, however, caught in his baaaarbaaaaric act by the farmer, who chased him down in his combine harvester. Too slow to outrun the clumsy machine, Illy was sliced and diced by its rotating blades.The Ghost of Purplemarauder:



After making one too many disrespectful remarks towards the British online, Purplemarauder was mobbed by a gang of rapscallions and boiled alive in a vat of Earl Grey.

His death wails were described by horrified witnesses as the high pitched screams of a five year old girl sent to bed early without any supper.The Ghost of Kraul:



In an unexpected turn of events, Kraul experienced a full 24 hours of untainted, uninterrupted glee. Everything was perfect. Nothing could dampen his glorious, joyful mood.

But a good day for the Knightkrauler turned bad when, unable to handle the pure emotional satisfaction, his entire body shut down. Kraul died on the happiest day of his life.The Ghost of Lawman:



On secondment in another ward, psychiatric nurse Lawman found himself surrounded by traumatized former n00bs, chased away from PWH by his Internet hard man persona.

Without his invincible keyboard to protect him, the Scottish poster called on the wrestling prowess of his Australian namesake, and fought valiantly. But the numbers were too great, leaving him lifeless with the letters "BL" painted on his corpse in blood.The Ghost of Queen Scoop:



In a surprise to no one, Queen Scoop died of natural causes.

In her last will and testament, she requested that her real age never be revealed - but suffice to say, she had a good innings. In fact at the Pearly Gates, they're having to recruit a specialist in legacy systems to locate her file.The Ghost of TheGopher:



It was an accident waiting to happen. As TheGopher walked along the street, paying no attention to the path ahead, a large drain lay open on the sidewalk. As workers fixed a leak underground, a deadly pit was carelessly left open at the public's feet.

Fortunately, TheGopher crossed the street just before reaching the hole in the ground. Unfortunately, a speeding taxi had run a red light. Fortunately, the cab swerved in time to miss our friendly moderator. Unfortunately, he was then decapitated by a low flying pigeon.The Ghost of Fan:



Fan was last seen alive entering a room with Jet Black. When the door was opened thirty-five minutes later, both were dead. There were no signs of physical injury to either body, in fact no signs of a struggle at all. Autopsy results showed no internal cause of death.

24-hour news stations began covering the mystery, until declining ratings suggested no one cared. Police can't even be bothered to put the file in the Unsolved Cases cabinet, so Officer Stu on reception has put it to good use protecting the desk from coffee stains.The Ghost of Jet Black:



Jet Black was last seen alive entering a room with Fan. When the door was opened thirty-five minutes later, both were dead. There were no signs of physical injury to either body, in fact no signs of a struggle at all. Autopsy results showed no internal cause of death.

24-hour news stations began covering the mystery, until declining ratings suggested no one cared. Police can't even be bothered to put the file in the Unsolved Cases cabinet, so Officer Stu on reception has put it to good use protecting the desk from coffee stains.The Ghost of The Headliner:



Being a huge fan of HPW, God invited Hazzy, Illusion, and The Headliner to the Kingdom of Heaven for lunch. On arrival they were shown into the extravagant dining room, where one side of the table sat God on his throne, surrounded by three other chairs on the adjacent and opposite sides.

"I write the shows and I'm still an active roleplayer," said Illy, "I should be your right hand man," and he took the chair to God's right. "I also write the shows, and am a former HPW Champion," said H-Man, "I should be your left hand man," and he took the chair to God's left.

With one empty chair remaining, all eyes turned to Heady, who looked back at God and said, "I think you're in my seat."

The lightning bolt up his arse ignited the keyboard that had been stuck there for years, and The Headliner died of internal first-degree burns.The Ghost of CongestedThoughts:



Observing the chaos of the mosh pit at a hardcore metal concert, CongestedThoughts carefully voiced his concerns that someone could get badly hurt. And he was right.

Approximately sixty metalheads turned in unison and began bouncing him violently around the pit, his limbs being pulled in all directions, and his head colliding with every solid surface it could find.

Fortunately, CT felt very little pain from his many broken bones, as the dubious personal hygeine of his assailants was enough to kill him just seconds into the attack.The Ghost of MaximumMitch69:



Evenly matched in a battle of wits, MaximumMitch69 and Ethan decided to settle things like men, like knights in fact, with an old-fashioned joust on horseback. And as a crowd gathered to watch, the pair donned their armor and each mounted a heavy steed, before charging with their wooden lances.

However, unpracticed in the art of jousting, the wannabe Galahads galloped right past each other, and tumbled unceremoniously beneath the hooves of their own horses, where not even their armor - made of the finest colanders and BacoFoil - could protect them from being trampled to death.The Ghost of Ethan:



Evenly matched in a battle of wits, Ethan and MaximumMitch69 decided to settle things like men, like knights in fact, with an old-fashioned joust on horseback. And as a crowd gathered to watch, the pair donned their armor and each mounted a heavy steed, before charging with their wooden lances.

However, unpracticed in the art of jousting, the wannabe Galahads galloped right past each other, and tumbled unceremoniously beneath the hooves of their own horses, where not even their armor - made of the finest colanders and BacoFoil - could protect them from being trampled to death.The Ghost of gungrave17:



Accused of murder, gungrave17 set out to prove his innocence by tying himself to a streetlamp, demonstrating that he could not have moved from this spot should another poster fall in the recent spate of deaths.

As misfortune would have it, this stormy night that claimed the life of El Jackal would also take gungrave's, striking his streetlamp with lightning and electrocuting the self-bound defendant.The Ghost of El Jackal:

(Note: El Jackal changed his own profile to try and dodge the bullet. Of course, it failed. All that was added here was the last paragraph.)



With the current members of PWH slowly dropping like flies, tension was running high.
Being the sensible guy that he is, Jackal set to work digging his own grave... to save anybody the trouble later.

In a sudden cloudburst, the heavens opened and water began to fill up the hole. Jackal tried to bail it out with a bucket, but slipped in and drowned.

His tombstone reads: "Here lies El Jackal, who dug not in vain; When stormclouds crackled, his lungs filled with rain."

[Jet Black]

Can I keep the ghost in my sig?